Naruto Drabbles  Yaoi Style
by Kiharu Aroukii
Summary: Just a bunch of Naruto drabbles that pop up in my head. From what I can see, they WILL all be YAOI!YAOIYAOIYAOI! There! I warned ya! Also, I'll take requests for pairings, if there is a certain kind you want to see.
1. Chapter 1

"No."

"Please, Sasuke?"

"No."

"Please?!"

"No!"

"Please... I'm so cold..."

"I said no!"

Insert lip wibbling.

Insert heavy sigh.

"Alright."

"Yay!"

Naruto beamed as he curled up in Sasuke's lap, the dark-haired boy's warmth immediately chasing away the cold that had been haunting them in their cell for the past few weeks. Wrapping an arm around Sasuke's neck, Naruto rested his head on Sasuke's chest and was soon wandering Dream Land.

Sasuke watched his dobe silently for a few minutes before sighing once again - sighing seemed to be his new past time - and wrapped his arms around his companion. Sasuke refused to admit it, but even he had felt the cool air get to him, and honestly appreciated Naruto becoming his living blanket. Closing his eyes gently, Sasuke also fell to Dream Land, though not as deeply as the foxy boy in his arms.

"...Dobe."


	2. Chapter 2

At the age of 12, Jiraiya had expected to have a cute girlfriend around his age or, more preferable, an older girl that couldn't resist his natural charms. They'd make out like the other adults in the village and have great sex, and wouldn't be able to get enough of each other. Every time Jiraiya left for one of his suicide missions, she would wait endlessly for him at their apartment and whenever he came back, she would run up to him with her large breasts and her thick hair waving through the air. She would embrace him and fall to her knees, sobbing in relief as she wrapped her arms around his waist. He would smile calmly (and sexily, of course!) and would calm her down with his cool words.

Instead, he was stuck with a boyfriend who liked snakes, reading, and hated Jiraiya's perverted nature. He would rather meditate on the roof then cuddle up to him (who would do that!?) and he actually liked to eat sushi! How traditional could you get?! He should've been eating beef sandwiches and ramen with him! If Jiraiya wanted to go out to eat somewhere, they had to go somewhere expensive! Instead of a nice cheap dinner at Ichiraku, Jiraiya had to take his picky boyfriend to a nice restaurant with food that cost more than a hundred yen. Hell, just the drinks cost about 500 yen!

Jiraiya grumbled as he looked out of his bed at the bed across the room - Sarutobi-sensei had chosen the biggest bed in the middle of the trio of beds, which put Orochimaru across the room from him. All Jiraiya could see of him was a small lump curled up on itself against the wall.

Jiraiya's earlier annoyance with Orochimaru for not being his dream 'girl' faded as he sat up fully in the bed. Squinting his eyes, the white haired Genin could barely make out Orochimaru's form under the covers. Jiraiya glanced at his sensei and, seeing the man passed out on the bed, risked his endeavour. Slipping out of the bed, Jiraiya slinked across the room and shook Orochimaru's shoulders, trying to wake him up. Sighing at his failure, Jiraiya pulled back the covers off of Orochimaru and crawled in with him, pulling his pale boyfriend closer to him.

Jiraiya closed his eyes and, just as he was on the brink of sleep, his eye snapped open as he felt someone grab his face. Eyes clearing, he blinked in confusion as Orochimaru stared him in his eyes.

"If you ever get that image of me with breasts in your head again, I'll rip your intestines out and wrap them around your body and hang you from a giant windmill." Orochimau smiled sweetly (must've been because he was so tired), kissed Jiraiya softly and, after curling up like a kitten, fell back asleep. Jiraiya looked at him quietly then sighed._ Now_ he remembered why he cared about Orochimaru. He could be cute if he wanted to.

". . . stupid cute bastard."


	3. Chapter 3 Dedication!

_This chapter is dedicated to Mahojin! -_

Kakashi looked up from his book when he saw Naruto stop in front of him. Tilting his head curiously, he blinked in confusion as the blond huffed and glared at him, his arms crossing in front of him. Obviously he had done something wrong but, for the life of him, he didn't know what. He had actually been on his best behavior all day! After a few more minutes of being glared at, Kakashi took the bait and closed his book.

"Maa... want can I do for you, Naruto-kun?" Kakashi asked, smiling beneath his mask. Sadly, Naruto didn't smile back.

"I need to ask you a super-secret, very important question!" Naruto stated calmly, looking for all the world like this was a normal, everyday occurence.

"Oh? And that would be. . . ?" Kakashi blinked, now interested. Naruto sighed, as though it was painful.

"I need you to kiss me."

Kakashi stared in shock and once the statement registered in his brain, did what any self-respecting man in his position would do when a cute blond boy that is a shota-kon's dream. Images of Naruto looking up at him with his eyes watery and silvery tears streaming down his face, a large shirt - and ONLY a large shirt - on his body, a small shoulder bared to his eye.

He squeaked and fell into a faint.

Naruto turned to Sakura and grinned, his hand outstretched to her. Sakura herself was staring in awe at Naruto. Sasuke was glaring harshly at his sensei as though he could see what thoughts had been running through his head about **his** Naru-chan.

"You owe me a month of ramen!"


	4. Chapter 4

_This is just a guilty pleasure of mine. I'm a __**HUGE**__ Deidara fan girl, and I love him paired up with Madara-Tobi. . . so . . . . Dun dun[That means Madara-Tobi x Deidara!_

_whooyaoiwhooyaoiwhooyaoiwhooyaoiwhooyaoi_

Deidara sighed as he reclined on his back, molding the clay into his hands into different animals. He thought of his fellow Akatsuki members and created them in a frenzy.

"DAMMIT TOBI! GO AWAY FROM BRUTUS!" Screams from Tobi were heard as Kisame obviously protected his baby shark from the dumbass.

Shark.

"Tobi. Leave. _Now_." More screams from Tobi as Itachi glared at him with his blood eyes.

Weasel.

"DAMMIT, TOBI! YOU RUINED ANOTHER RITUAL!" No commentary needed for that one.

Dog (most likely a Pit Bull)

"Tobi needs to leave now or** he's going to be in a world of pain!**" Obviously, Tobi did something stupid enough to get Zetsu annoyed.

. . . . this one was a toughie.

Deidara decided on a bee.

"That's going to cost you. . ." Oooh... Tobi was going for a record.

Kakuzu was _totally_ a cat, what with his obsession for shiny expensive things.

". . . . Tobi, calm down or I will be forced to euthanize you." Konan sure could drive a hard bargain, couldn't she?

Deidara decided she was some sort of song bird.

"Tobi. I have a mission for you. Go die in a corner." Hey! Pein-sama had a sense of humor after all!

Still, he was more of a wolf than a monkey.

As Deidara sat up, now bored with his small game, his door flew open, revealing Tobi in all his spastic glory. With a scream of 'DEIDARA-SEMPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!', Deidara was tackled int his bed and nuzzled and petted and curled up on like he was a favorite pillow. Laughing came from the doorway; obviously, Hidan hadn't ended his chase after Tobi had fled to his own room. Itachi appeared beside Hidan and watched as the blond arsonist sat up and began molding his clay once again. Not surprisingly, Tobi was still attached to his lap. Finishing his little project, the blond plopped the clay animal on Tobi's head, supported by the neon orange mask.

"A squirrel? How fitting!" Hidan roared, laughing outright. Tobi, hearing this, squealed and glomped Deidara, kissing him square on his soft lips. Had Deidara been paying attention, he would've heard a distinctly humoured voice - amidst all the cat-calls and cheers - mutter 'Deidara-kun is such a _fox_, but then again, what did Deidara care? He had a gorgeous bipolar seme in his lap!


End file.
